Rant Transcript (text in all caps because it’s a rant and it was 2006 and I was really fed up at this ‘feminist’ ecopoetics conference)
NEVER HAVE I FELT SO AWARE THAT MY GRANDFATHER MADE SHOES IN AN ORPHANAGE IN GLASGOW. THAT MY FATHER ONLY MADE IT TO GRADE 8. TWICE. THAT HIS JOKE ABOUT GRADE 16 IS PAINFUL (AND FUNNY). THAT MY MOTHER MADE IT TO GRADE 10, THAT I MADE IT SOMEHOW TO A BA, THAT MY BA NOW FEELS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. THAT THERE ARE LANGUAGES IN ENGLISH I DON’T UNDERSTAND, THAT PART OF ME WANTS TO. THAT THERE ARE NO BLACK PEOPLE HERE, NO ASIANS, SOUTH ASIANS, LATINAS, ARABS. THAT MY MOTHER WOULD BE HUMILIATED, THAT MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD LEAVE. THAT BECKETT WAS RIGHT WHEN HE WROTE THAT. THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER, THAT THEY DO HOWEVER WANT TO BE UNDERSTOOD. THAT FAILURE IS THE ONLY UNIVERSAL HUMAN TRAIT, THAT COMMUNICATION IS RARER THAN WE THINK. THAT IT HURTS ME TO WRITE. THAT I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD. THAT I AM SO LUCKY THAT I AM SO LUCKY THAT I AM SO LUCKY. THAT THERE IS A WAR, THAT THERE ARE MANY WARS, THAT MY FRIENDS ARE AT A PROTEST, THAT I AM NOT, THAT WE HAVE A FASCIST FOR A PRIME MINISTER, THAT WE HAVE TROOPS IN AFGHANISTAN. THAT ALL WOMEN ARE NOT MY SISTERS, THAT REPRODUCTION IS NOT WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON, THAT SOME MORNINGS I AM TENDERLY CALLED BOY AND IT’S TRUER THAN ANY ‘FEMININE’ THROWN MY WAY. THAT MY WORDS CAN DO VERY LITTLE. THAT I MAKE $10 AN HOUR. THAT MY READING WAS SCHEDULED IN A SMALL CLASSROOM INSTEAD OF A GALLERY. THAT MY BACK HURTS, THAT MY HANDS HURT, THAT MY HEART HURTS, THAT MY BRAIN HURTS, THAT MY WOMB HURTS, THAT I’M HUNGRY. THAT I HAVEN’T HEARD SPANISH OR FARSI OR MANDARIN IN DAYS. THAT I HAVE MADE A HUGE SCAR ON THE WORLD BY BOARDING ANOTHER PLANE. THAT IF I SEE ONE MORE PIECE OF STYROFOAM AT THIS ECO-GATHERING I WILL WEEP AND NOT BE ABLE TO STOP. THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WEEPING. THAT THIS PAPER IS MADE FROM A TREE AND THAT THAT TREE HAD ROOTS IN NATIVE LAND AND THAT OUR FOREFATHERS HELD BLACK AND NATIVE SLAVES AND THAT WE STILL SHOOT INDIANS IN THIS COUNTRY AND THAT WOMEN CAN TAKE UP TOO MUCH SPACE TOO.